Fantasy Football Funk

I did my research. I prepared. I bought two magazines this time to be as informed and up to date as humanly possible. I visited various fantasy football sites on the internet to get other thoughts and opinions. I took my vitamins and said my prayers, (the Hulkster would have been proud). And since my picks would be back to back every round, I created a strategy and tried to stick with it.

And for all of that time spent, my team, Uncle Smashmouth, is in dead last after three weeks of play. I could have won week two outright, but I didn't have the right players active. While I have had thoughts of grinding down one of my softball bats into a sharp point and falling on it, that would be a bit more pain than I want to go through, and it would also be very messy. And I would be in too much pain to clean up afterword.

As a result, I have chosen to add to my fantasy injuries and field a team in fantasy hockey this season, which will be my first. I have been a hockey fan for a number of years now and a season ticket holder for three of those years. Fortunately for me, it is an autodraft, so I will be able to blame Yahoo instead of myself if the draft isn't great.

If this goes bad also, I can file down a hockey stick, and fall on that AND the bat.
Yep, that sounds about right.