Howlin' Mad News

Welcome to the much anticipated return of Howlin' Mad News. This segment was first introduced at the home of the Sandman, and now it has taken up new residence here on the blog.

Enjoy!

Need a place to recover from a night of drinking? Take your horse into the foyer of your local bank and sleep it off.

“To be honest with you, I don’t think there’s much that she could have done,” said Gulf County Sheriff Dalton Upchurch. “Evidently, camels have a mind of their own.”

Anyone ever see that episode of MASH where Radar decided to ship a jeep home piece by piece? This guy was trying for the boat.

physician Raymond Adamcik -- dressed in the signature red, white and blue -- was jailed after witnesses said he became too super-friendly -- approaching a woman with a burrito in his hand, saying dirty things, then groping her...

(the burrito makes this situation 100 times funnier!)

Today's birthdays for April 25 are Ella Fitzgerald, Albert King, Meadowlark Lemon, Geese Ausbie, Talia Shire, Peter Jurasik, Hank Azaria, Joe Buck, Renee Zellweger, Gina Torres, Darren Woodson, Tim Duncan, and Al Pacino.

Tony D'Amato: You find out life's this game of inches, so is football. Because in either game - life or football - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life any more it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team gentlemen, and either, we heal as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's football guys, that's all it is. Now what are you gonna do?

Vincent Hanna: You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.
Neil McCauley: There is a flip side to that coin. What if you do got me boxed in and I gotta put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We've been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate. Not for a second.

Tony Montana: You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!